Want to Improve Your Writing? Revise It! (And Take a Break, Too)
Revision plays a critical role in the writing process.
If you care about quality, however—especially if you are a small business owner and every word you write directly represents you—stop! Don’t press that send button just yet.
I’m sure you’ve heard that writing is a process. This means that putting our thoughts down on paper is only the first step in producing a clear, coherent communication that achieves our goals. The most important step is the next one: Revision.
To be able to revise our work requires that we get some distance from it. This is because we are so close to the piece right after finishing it that we will “see” what we expect to see even if it isn’t actually there!
What’s the solution?
Put the piece down and walk away. Do something else for an hour or two (or—if at all possible—for a day or two). Then come back and carefully re-read what you have written. When you do, you may feel as though someone else had written it altogether.
This distance you have gained plays a critical role in the writing process because faulty reasoning, out-of-place ideas, confusing passages, wordiness, repetitions, and all manner of spelling, grammar and punctuation errors will suddenly leap out at you.
Another plus is that as you begin to work on the issues you have identified, completely new ideas…new support for your points…and better ways to express something will often occur to you as well.
The end result of this revision/taking a break process will be a powerful piece of writing that truly communicates with its intended audience and achieves its goals. At the same time, it will also demonstrate your expertise and your high regard for quality.
Clearly the benefits of taking a break outweigh the urge to just get the thing off your desk, don’t you think?
Human Connections Are Important, Too
I woke up this morning thinking about how more and more communication is taking place online instead of face-to-face. In many cases, this is a positive development because it allows like-minded people and learners to join together (or find a teacher) from anywhere in the world. On the other hand, of course, it also means we lose out on the pleasures of connecting with another human being in person.
The event that stimulated these thoughts was an email I received this week from a local Portland organization whose monthly meetings I have been attending for a couple of years. The email announced that the organization’s meetings will now take place solely online–and that the membership costs have quadrupled.
On the one hand, the organization is offering more benefits to members, who can now live anywhere in the world. Because monthly meetings will take place via teleconference and also be recorded, members can listen to them at a time that is convenient for them. Such a move also means the president of the organization no longer has to pay money to rent a facility and hope enough people attend each month to cover the costs.
On the other hand, it means that the organization that made it possible for people to laugh and talk with each other before, during and after meetings, plan networking picnics in the park in the summer, or meet each other at a cafe to share marketing and writing tips about their ebooks will no longer exist.
Another organization I am passionate about–one that is over 30 years old, already has an international membership, and whose board I served on for four years–is struggling to attract enough attendees to keep its annual conference going (especially this year).
I believe that holding an online conference next year would be an excellent decision because it would enable our members to save several thousand dollars in travel expenses (especially those who come from outside of the United States) and still acquire the wonderful information, tools and techniques that our amazing presenters share year after year. Such a choice could, in fact, make the difference between surviving as an organization or not.
On the other hand, it also means that talking long into the night with someone I just met who shares my passion for learning; playing hooky with a woman who, like me, is a new board member and feeling the need for some downtime (which led us to bond with each other and become great friends and allies); and being inspired by a presenter who has participants dress in costumes from The Wizard of Oz and physically walk on a “yellow brick road” laid out on the classroom floor while reciting lines from a script in time to music will be impossible in an online teleconference.
In the end, I do understand why moving to an online venue makes sense, but it makes me sad, too.
Thoughts on Memoir, Movies and Storytelling
A potential client contacted me recently. He had written a 70,000-word memoir and was looking for an editor. I asked him to send me the first chapter so I could evaluate the degree of editing that would be required. Unfortunately, it wasn’t nearly ready to be edited. In fact, it needed to be completely rewritten.
What was its problem?
It told his story rather than showed it. It presented one fact after another (sometimes in random order and almost always in passive voice) about the place in which he grew up, his father and mother, his siblings, the influence of fundamental religious teachings on the community. It had some interesting details, but it had no emotional impact on me as a reader.
We made a mutual decision not to pursue working with each other. He was not open to writing coaching–only to finding a copyeditor–and I was not willing to go forward as an editor on a project that still needed so much work. But I have been thinking about what I would have told him if he had been open to suggestion.
And that is…think of your memoir as though it were a movie script.
Choose a certain number of scenes for the opening act (i.e., Chapter One) and plot them out ahead of time. What is going to happen in scene one? Who are the characters? Where are they located? What are they doing? What are they saying? What is the main character (the memoir writer) feeling as a result? After writing this out–including snippets of dialogue you want to incorporate–do the same thing for the remaining scenes in the chapter.
Then begin to write.
Such an approach would go a long way toward helping the writer understand how to show rather than tell. It would help him realize that he needs to tell a story that draws his readers in, evokes emotion in them, and connects them deeply to particular characters and events.
I would also suggest to this writer that he check his bookshelves or go to a bookstore and take a look at the first page of several really well written memoirs or biographies. Look how they begin. What does the writer do that draws you in immediately and makes you want to keep reading?
In Three Cups of Tea, for example, David Oliver Relin opens with a scene in the cockpit of a helicopter that is flying over the Hunza Valley in Northwestern Pakistan, which is surrounded by some of the highest mountain peaks in the world. Relin nervously watches a flashing red light indicating that they are almost out of fuel, while the Pakistani Pilot, Brigadier General Bhangoo, nonchalantly taps the fuel guage and explains that it is unreliable. Greg Mortenson is sitting next to the general with a map on his knees that hopefully indicates exactly where they are and how long it will be until they can land.
Relin continues to provide wonderful details that put the reader inside the cockpit. He also presents dialog that reveals the personality of the men in just a few words. And he does this page after page, making it extremely hard for the reader to put the book down!
Clearly, we can learn a great deal from analyzing the way that masters tell their tales, and it would have been a great place for my potential client to start.
The Surge in Afghanistan: Yes or No?
Kabul, Afghanistan-1976
Although I have not visited Afghanistan since 1978, the country and her people have had a huge influence on my life. I went there for the first time in July 1976 as a Peace Corps Volunteer. In December that year, I met a Dutchman named Hans; in October 1977 we were married in Kabul at the church in the Italian embassy.
For the last 30 years, I have watched in sadness as the country and her people have been torn apart by a never-ending war. I have also watched in anger as the U.S. has twice come to the country’s aid and then deserted it.
Since many of my friends know about my Afghan connection, they have been asking me recently about my opinion of the surge. I have told them I honestly don’t know what the best solution is. On the one hand, my heart just wants to end both of our wars of choice and bring our soldiers home. On the other hand, I shudder to think what will happen to the country if we desert it for a third time.
Three Cups of Tea
This is why I was so eager to attend last week’s lecture by Greg Mortenson. I have few modern-day heroes, but Mortenson is one of them. As described so beautifully in Three Cups of Tea, he has spent the last 16 years almost singly-handedly building schools—mostly for girls—in the remotest areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan.
It was interesting to see Greg in person. He was wearing a dowdy gray sweater that was stretched tightly over a somewhat pudgy body. His shoulders were a little hunched, and he kind of shuffled as he walked across the stage. He was also humble, self-effacing, and extremely inspiring. It just goes to show that you don’t have to be a rock star to change the world and that one human being with a passion to help others can make a huge difference.
Greg’s organization, the Central Asian Institute (CAI), has now built 131 schools that serve 58,000 students, including 44,000 girls. Although the Taliban has destroyed many schools in the area, not one of CAI’s schools has met that fate. This is because Greg only builds a school when the leaders of the community come to him and ask him to do so. They also have to agree to donate land, thousands of hours of manual labor, and whatever materials they can. This ensures that the community truly buys into the project and strongly supports it.
In fact, only one of CAI’s schools has ever been attacked by the Taliban. This happened about two years ago. In response, the villagers attacked the men who had overtaken their school, killed a few of them, jailed the rest, and reopened the school two days later.
One of the most disturbing things I learned from Greg was that the Taliban have been actively working to destroy the culture in Afghanistan by driving a wedge between the children and the elders. Traditionally, the whole society—young and old—has had a high regard for the elders, who regularly gather together to make decisions for the good of the community. By removing the male children and putting them in schools that teach them to disrespect the leaders of their own communities, the whole society is beginning to fall apart. (First the individual communities collapse, Greg explained, then the central government.)
Women Students at My Wedding Reception
Greg said that an educated woman plays a critical role in this regard, which is one of the reasons the Taliban are so opposed to the education of women. This is because a woman who can read, learn and think for herself will not let her sons attend such schools. She will also have fewer children, which improves the health of the whole family, and she will ensure that her children obtain an education.
Greg quoted a proverb from Africa that says: “If you educate a boy, you educate an individual. But if you educate a girl, you educate a community.”
At the very end of his talk, Greg acknowledged that many people in the audience were probably wondering what he thought about the planned surge of U.S. soldiers. He didn’t exactly answer this question one way or the other, but this is the gist of his comments as nearly as I can remember.
First he said that the politicians in Washington made their decision to support the surge behind closed doors—without soliciting opinions from the American people or from the Afghans themselves. He believes this was a big mistake. He also said that the politicians—including Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden—have made few trips to the country and understand little about its people and culture.
On the other hand, he said the military leaders really “get it.” In fact, ALL of the American officers in Afghanistan are now required to read Greg’s book! Greg has had many conversations with General Petraeus and other high level military leaders, and they seem to understand that to succeed in Afghanistan, Americans must build relationships, understand and respect the culture, and work closely with the elders.
The alternative to the surge is to increase air bombing through drones (as Biden has apparently urged). This is absolutely the wrong step, of course, because drones kill women, children and innocent men as well as whatever military leader we might be targeting. The result is growing hatred of Americans.
So…for the moment…I think I’ll try and suppress my baby-boomer distrust of the military and support the surge. The alternatives are worse. And maybe–just maybe–we will get it right this time.
Writing Articles: How to Get Started
Human beings are wired for storytelling. Stories amuse us, teach us, inspire us. They connect us immediately to each other, break down walls, and help us see the world through another pair of eyes.
This is why one particularly powerful way to start an article is with your own story.
To see what I mean, compare the two entries below. The first one comes from a client who had written an article about her experience in a women’s choir. Instead of talking about the choir, however, she begins with vague generalities that put the reader at a distance and lack a human voice. She also violates one of the first rules of writing (show, don’t tell) in that she tells the reader what she is going to do next instead of simply doing it.
The second paragraph is my edited version. Which of the two versions would be more likely to make you want to read further?
Client’s original paragrah
Throughout the course of our human evolution, the teacher-student relationship has always existed in a variety of communal settings, the shape of each one holding unique potential for personal transformation of the student. In some circles this relationship is referred to as the Spiritual One and Disciple. In other domains, the Mentor and Learner; also, the Healer and the Healed; and the Priestess and Novitiate. One such modern manifestation is that of the Choral Director and New Choral Member. From the lower vantage point of this last relationship, I will proceed now to reflect upon the deeper meaning of it, brought home with a personal tale.
My edited version
I was ecstatic when I was accepted into the alto-2 section of Portland’s Aurora Chorus. “Hey! I’m in a choir!” I told my friends and family, feeling like a 10-year-old child skipping down the street. “I’m in a choir!” The bubble soon burst, however. For the next four months, I struggled to maintain focus during each weekly rehearsal.
In particular, I struggled to master one new skill: pronouncing the consonant “R.” Or better said, NOT pronouncing the R at the end of a word. “No one in the world walks around thinking about consonant pronunciation,” I fumed. “It’s just not the kind of thing you worry about.” Have you ever noticed how many pesky little R’s pepper the ending of words? Me either. Until I joined a chorus.
Organizing Your Article: The Sandwich
All of the ideas in my version of the paragraph were scattered around the article; I simply pulled them together and put them at the beginning. After introducing my client’s experience in the choir (which was her main goal), I then stepped back and introduced the philosophical ideas she wanted to incorporate.
To close, I brought the article back to her own personal story, which tells how she overcame her tendency to pronounce final R’s.
In other words, the overall organization of the article resembles that of a sandwich!
It’s vs. Its: How Do You Tell the Difference?
Many of my writing clients struggle to tell the difference between its and it’s, so I thought I’d talk about this pair of homonyms (words that sound alike but are spelled differently and have different meanings) today.
Apostrophes: To start, let’s review the uses of the apostophre. In English, apostrophes have two functions. The first is to show possession, and the second is to show when a letter is missing, as in contractions.
Examples of possession include: “John’s book, the girls’ room, the house’s roof
Examples of missing letters include: I’ll (I will), don’t (do not), goin’ (going)
It’s/Its: On the face of it, “it’s” would seem like the correct choice in both cases. “It is” can be contracted to “it’s.” And we said above that English shows possession with an apostophre, so we should be able to write “it’s leaves are turning gold”–shouldn’t we?
Unfortunately, we would be wrong! This is because the word “its” is a possessive adjective (or possessive pronoun) that shows possession already. Look at the following table to see what I mean:
Possessive Adjectives
| Possessive Pronouns
|
We don’t write his,’ our’s, or their’s because we inutitively understand that they are already possessive. Although it may not be intuitive, its is in the same category.
So the next time you write one of these, stop for a second and ask yourself: Is this a possessive or a contraction of two words (it + is)? Then choose the correct version!
Affect vs. Effect: What’s the Difference?
Just this week, my daughter asked me how to use this pair of words correctly. I explained to her that “affect” is a verb, and “effect” is (usually) a noun. This means that in the following sentences, you would say:
1. How do the new laws affect you? (verb)
2. I am not affected by cold weather, but my husband is. (verb)
3. What is the effect of the new law on your business? (noun)
4. One of the major effects of cold weather is that people often catch cold. (noun)
If you aren’t sure whether the word is being used as a noun or verb, look for the word “the,” which is always followed by a noun. (An adjective or two may come in between the and its noun–as “major” does in sentence 4–but the noun will always be there. Then notice that “the” ends with an e and that “effect” begins with an e. So just match the two!
If using “the” just doesn’t make sense–as in “How does the weather the affect your health?”–you have a verb!
The one caveat here is that “effect” can sometimes be a verb, too. But it is used only in the sense of “to cause” something. For example: ”The new boss effected numerous changes in the company.”
But still…matching the “e” of the with the one in effect is a really helpful mnemonic.